Always trust your banker and other advice on Fools Day

The new financial year starts today. It is a day to make new beginnings.

Today, I would like to share with you all that I learnt about investing in all these years. It worked for me, I hope it works for you too.

Here’s myMaster List.

Remember, if an investment is not offering you a guaranteed return, then just ignore it. Risk is for losers. I need certainty.

Hence my favourite investments are Bank Fixed Deposit, PPF, VPF, Post Office Deposit, NSC, KVP, Gold, Real Estate. They not only protect you from the curse of inflation (rising prices) and but also can make you a millionaire (crorepati) over time.
For decades, they have been any investor’s first choice, why should it be any different now?

All this long term investing talk is bull. Who has seen the long term? In the long term we are all dead. You have to live for the moment, every day. So, day trade in stocks, futures and options. That is the only sustainable way to make money, that too on a daily basis. Start counting.

With the same logic, there is no point planning for retirement. We have no clue what the future holds. Planning is failing.

Insurance is the best investment, I swear. Endowment, Money Back policies, Pension Plans – I wish I could hoard them enough. Talk about a ULIP – I believe it is the God’s Gift to mankind. It is one solution to all my investment problems. It gives me so many benefits – tax-savings, safety and return – that too at the lowest possible cost. Wow!

Let me tell you something. Never buy Term insurance. Never means never. It is only the biggest fool who would put money in something that would not give any return. They give all this gyaan about protection and all but without a return what is an investment.

Yes, mutual funds can be considered but not really sure. I think SIP is the best mutual fund. Yes, I can SIP it, like my favourite tea. 🙂

Always trust the product seller for investment advice. For example, the insurance agent. Who can know the product better than her? She can understand your needs and then recommend the right investment product. Don’t worry if she pockets a nice commission. She is helping you after all. Be generous please.

In fact, I would say go and see your bank relationship manager. No one else ever had your best interest in mind. She has access to your complete banking information to recommend the best investment options for you. I am happy my bank is getting all those commissions and offering me those wonderful services, that too FREE. Complete WIN WIN.

Of course you cannot miss out the sage advice of newspapers, magazines and the fantastic TV shows. The experts there are Gods of the investing world. They know every move of the market, the direction. Their predictions can never go wrong. You got to believe them, do what they say. Most of the times you will lose money but yeah the one time you will make it, it will be big. If nothing at all, the sheer pleasure of listening to them is unbeatable.

Never ask questions. It can be disastrous. It can make you change your long held beliefs. And as you know any change is unwelcome and uncomfortable. Besides, if you happen to ask a stupid question, it can make you sound like a fool – stupid, idiot and dumb. I can take market risk for once but not this risk.

And what’s this new investing basics course on Unovest – Investing 101. It’s just useless gyaan wrapped in sophistry. Plus, it wants to teach you to ask questions. Avoid it like a plague!

So, that is what I have learnt in all these years. I hope it is helpful to you too.